It’s a new year which means we all have New Years resolutions. For us it may be things like ‘lose weight’ or ‘find out what to do with my life’ or ‘live healthier’. For tech companies though it may be a bit different. In this comic, Nitrozac and Snaggy of The Joy of Tech offer some resolutions for tech bigwigs to aim for in 2014.

Although they may sound different from ours, the outcome will be the same — by April, everyone gives up.

As hilarious as they may sound, there is truth to all of them, here’s 7 Tech Companies and their New Years Resolutions:

tech companies new years resolutions